It was a dark and stormy night
by beaglelvr93
Summary: It was a dark and stormy night. That's a bit of an understatement...
1. Chapter 1

_It was a dark and stormy night._

"Oh come on, Booth. That's an understatement."

"Okay, okay."

_It was a VERY dark and stormy night. Agent Seeley Booth and his partner, Bones-_

"Don't call me Bones!"

"Will you please just shut up and let me tell the story?"

"Fine."

"Thank you."

_It was a very dark and stormy night. Agent Seeley Booth and his partner, Dr. Temperance Brennan were in the-middle-of-no-where Arkansas, and-_

"The town has a name, Booth. It's called Taloma."

"Stop being so picky!"

_Agent Seeley Booth and his partner, Dr. Temperance Brennan were in Taloma, Arkansas, and they were on their way to excavate a body. When they got to the scene, Bon-, Brennan asked to see the body. The lead officer on the scene, Sheriff William, was being very inconsiderate by making rude comments and attempting to flirt with Bones. The brave and startlingly handsome Agent Booth-_

"And modest. And he wasn't flirting with me!"

"Yes he was, Bones, you just didn't realize it. Ahem!...as I was saying..."

_The brave and startlingly handsome Agent Booth grabbed Sheriff William by the scruff of his neck and shook him, effectively reminding him to be more polite to women who can kick his ass._

"Thank you, Booth."

"You're welcome, Bones."

_Brennan ran over to Booth and threw her arms around his neck, saying 'Oh, thank you for saving me!' before kissing him hungrily-_

"What!"

"Angela! Stop it! I'm telling the story!"

"Sorry, Booth. Couldn't resist..."

_(Note: Let it be known that the last sentence has been erased from this story.) Booth looked around to see where Brennan was, but she was gone. The forest was dark and scary-looking, so Booth grabbed a flashlight and started down the small trail to where the body was. _

"Dark and scary looking? I thought you were a Ranger!"

"I was! But you have to admit it was kind of creepy in there..."

"I am not afraid of the dark."

"I'm not either! It was just..."

"Dark and scary?"

"Yeah."

_"Bones!" He yelled, trying to locate his partner. Her blood-curdling scream chilled him to the bone, and he broke into a run. In the dark it was impossible to see the ledge coming, and Booth tumbled down the small hill. When he came to a stop, he realized he was lying on something._

_"Boof. Gerrof me!" was the muffled sound from beneath him. _

_"Hi Bones! I wondered where you had gone." Looking down, Booth finally noticed his position. He was lying sprawled on top of his partner, holding himself up with his arms so that it looked like he was doing push-ups. An overwhelming urge to kiss her came over him, and he leaned down to capture her lips-_

"ANGELA!" 

"Sorry!"

_(Note: That last sentence is deleted too.) Booth rolled off of Bones and helped her to her feet. They brushed themselves off and looked around. Booth froze- there was a body not ten feet from where they had been lying. Bones strode over to the body and started spurting confusing scientific words-_

"They're only confusing if you don't listen!"

"Or if you're a normal human being."

_Booth wrote down the necessary information as Bones told the crime scene team what to do in her annoying 'I know more than you do' voice. _

"That was mean, Booth."

"Well you do! You get that authoritative, Alpha-female, 'I'm going to kick your ass if you compromise my evidence' voice."

"Alpha-female? That's a very scientific word for you, Booth."

"Just!- Stop talking, okay?"

_Anyway, the body got back to the lab okay, and then the squints did their thing figured out that the body was that of Maria Chancey. Booth and Bones went to talk to Maria's boyfriend, Mark. They entered his apartment after he refused to come to the door. After arguing with Booth about getting a gun, and losing, Bones entered the apartment BEHIND Booth._

"It would have been easier if you had given me a gun!"

_ Booth scouted the bedroom and office, while telling Bones to check the kitchen. The bedroom and office were clear, and Booth was about to head to the kitchen when he heard a yelp of pain and a loud bang. Running into the kitchen, he found Mark lying on the floor, Bones' boot at his throat. There was a nasty looking bruise forming on Bones' cheek. _

_"Did he hit you?"asked Booth, concerned._

_"Yes, and I could have taken him without injury IF you had given me a gun!" she retorted. _

_Booth chose to ignore her comment, and instead turned his attention to the man lying on the floor. _

_"Why did you run?" the Agent asked, sounding very intimidating. _

"Yeah, intimidating. To a squirrel, maybe."

_"I didn't do it!" Mark replied lamely. The rest of the interview yielded no more important information. Booth and Bones headed back to the lab, and with nothing to do until Hodgins got results from a scientific clump of dirt-_

"IT'S SOIL! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU!"

"SORRY HODGINS!"

_-they decided to tell this account of their adventures of the last 24 hours out of sheer boredom._

"I have the results!"

"Come on Bones! Let's go get the bad guy!"

"This is why_ I _am the best selling author. That story was horrible."

"Maybe it was, but it entertained you for a while!"

"Whatever, Booth."


	2. Chapter 2

I would like to credit piratesmiley with the inspiration to continue.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

_It was just a normal day at the Jeffersonian. The boys were racing creepy, discustin-_

"They are called Agabus brunneus!! Get it right!"

_The boys were racing Agabuggy blahblahblah-_

"A-g-a-b-u-s b-r-u-n-n-e-u-s."

_The boys were racing beetles. Brennan and Booth were holed up in her office, supposedly working on the latest case. Muffled yells could be heard coming from Brennan's office, along with a clinking sound that sounded suspiciously like handcuffs. They were in there relieving some pent-up sexual tension..._

"Angela! We were not! Bones was stupid enough to chain herself to her desk with my handcuf-"

"Was not! If you hadn't told me to try them on-"

"You didn't have to listen to me!"

_See what I mean? Come on, the two are together 24/7-_

"That's impossible, Angela!"

-_and they eat almost all their meals together-_

"No we don't!"

_-and they continually deny their growing attraction. So to me, they're dating already. Anyway, back to the story. The 'dream team' were trying to figure out how Brennan's mystery date of last night is tied in with the current case. He obviously is, because her knight in shining stan-_

"-ard issue FBI body armor. We know. Just get on with the story!"

_-because her knight in shining standard issue FBI body armor followed her on her date, and Brennan got royally pissed. Woof! You should have seen the steam coming out of her ears! I thought (hoped, wished for, prayed) that they were going to jump each other right there out of pure frustration!_

"It was a delicate situation, and someone SHOT AT MY BONES! Of CORSE I was frustrated!"

"Your Bones??"

"Yes, MY Bones, okay, Bones?"

"Well you're not MY Booth, so I shouldn't be YOUR Bones!"

"I'm not?! That hurts, Bones. That hurts."

_So Brennan was sitting there, drinking wine-_

"I was drinking beer."

_So Brennan was sitting there drinking and trying to stay awake as her date bored her to death._

"If he bored me to death, which by the way is physically impossible, we wouldn't be having this conversation!"

_And out of sheer boredom, she starts to look around the restaurant. A familiar figure catches her gaze, and soon they lock eyes. The pair stare lustily at each other-_

"Lustily? I don't think so. She was glaring at me, big time."

"I wasn't glaring!"

"Yes you were! You were giving me the 'DEATH GLARE!'"

"Death glare?"

"Yeah, the one where you look like you want to do bodily harm to the person on the receiving end?... Bones? Real mature, the silent treatment... Bones? You there?"

_The pair stare lustily at each other from across the crowded room. Brennan gets up, excuses herself from her date who is still rambling on about hearing aids-_

"Oh, come on. He wasn't THAT old..."

"Yes he was, Bones."

"He was maybe... forty...nine... and three quarters..."

"See?! Old."

_Brennan walked over to where Booth was sitting at the bar. She sat next to him, and asked-_

_"What are you doing here, hot stuff?"_

"I did not!"

"But you wanted to, Bones."

_"Not much." He replied. "How's your date going, Bones?"_

_"Better, now that you are here." _

"Angela! You're making this sound like a sappy romance novel! Stop it!"

"Yeah, Ange! Skip to the good part!"

_All of a sudden, the glass at the front of the restaurant shattered. More shots were fired, and people screamed and ducked under tables. Booth threw himself at Brennan, and covered her with his body, shielding her from any other bullets. They stayed like that for a few minutes, and when he was sure everything was safe, he still didn't move. _

_"Booth, you going to get off me anytime soon?" asked a confused Brennan. _

_"No." _

_"NO?!"_

_"I'm comfortable. And I really want to kiss you right now."-_

"Will you please stop with the part where Booth and I make out on the floor!"

"Why?"

"Why? I just find it wildly inappropriate, that's all."

"Come on, Bones, you know you wanna..."

"Uh. Right. Bye."

"Bones! Come back! I didn't mean it!"

_And so, they got back to the lab ok, and we got the bad guy. The end. _

"Come on, Ange. That was a crappy ending."

"Well, I can't think of anything else to add! You two just keep denying the mutual attraction, I have nothing to go on!"

"Make something up!"

"What do we do now?"

"That's my line!"

"I don't know what that means."

"No, THAT'S your line."

"Whatever, Booth."


End file.
